THE SUNSHINY SUPERWARRIOR GODDESS SPEAKS AGAIN!

Happy Sunday, Everybody. And it's especially happy-- because today's post is by none other than the Sunshiny Superwarrior Goddess herself... 

Nancy Neufeld Callaway!

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I’m writing.  Even though I’ve been keeping a daily journal, posting hasn’t happened. Honestly, I’m not sure why. Every day… rather every hour… there were things to think about. And yet nearly every five minutes of every hour a doctor or nurse or caregiver or friend would enter the room, and I’d get lost all over again. Kinda like Groundhog Day… only with chemo. But to be honest, I didn’t want to share too much information anyway—because not everybody wants or needs to hear all the gory details. I also didn’t want to fake being upbeat, if it wasn’t genuine. But now that I’m home — I feel grounded again. 

I’m lucky.  I know it. Not lucky to get sick, but lucky to have love and support from every direction. And I am changed because of it. In the past, I’m not sure I’ve reached out to friends in need the way they’ve been reaching out to me at present. It’s overwhelming. My word of the day. Of the week. Probably for the rest of my life. That will always be different now.

I’m home.  I didn’t realize how much I loved the colors of my house until I walked in last night. Trey had the fires blaring, flowers everywhere, food at the ready.  The living room practically glowed of amber, burgundy, yellow and orange — and those tones mixed in with Zingo’s gorgeous Golden Retriever fur — I was in heaven. I felt calm. Centered. Renewed. We all sat on the floor of my bedroom and caught up on the day, while Zingo rolled around like he was swimming. It was as if nothing had changed. News on the small stuff, the big stuff, the stupid stuff. My heart was exploding with joy.

I’m bald. Well, basically. And you know what? It actually feels kind of awesome! Speaking as a life-long, long-haired gal, there’s something incredibly freeing about having no hair. I’ve never felt the air on my scalp. It’s not so bad.

I’m optimistic. I’m doing great, and I can’t hear that enough. I have to get through this first phase of my treatment called “induction” and then comes the next phase. When I told the doctor I was feeling great (okay, I exaggerated a little) he said, “You don’t have to feel sick to get better.”  That was key for me to hear. Although it is pretty amazing to see what a screw job all these chemicals do on your body. In only a few weeks, my body has changed drastically. Then again, least of my problems - right? Oh Vanity, now you decide to come out and play?

I’m tired. Even though I’ve been feeling well, I get exhausted very easily. That’s super strange for a run-arounder like me. But right now, by the time I walk across the house, I need to rest. Zingo keeps looking back at me with that “what the hell is going on, move it along babe,” look. 

But speaking of, I’m hitting that wall again. So that’s it for now. But don’t worry, I’ll be back. And ALL IS WELL!