THE SUNSHINY SUPERWARRIOR GODDESS SPEAKS!

AND NOW A FEW WORDS FROM THE SUNSHINY SUPERWARRIOR GODDESS HERSELF...

I apologize yet again for not blogging sooner. In my head, I’m blogging daily. I’m telling y’all about all the wild characters I’ve met at the hospital — sharing the incredible meals that have so generously been dropped off — discussing the inspiring stories of courage I’ve heard — and then occasionally, I’m telling you about the shitty days I’ve had where I spend all day moaning and groaning, tossing and turning in bed. 

And then suddenly — it's a month later and I haven't written a word. I mean - seriously — I can hardly believe it’s been 3 months since my diagnosis. Nearly 90 days! One quarter of a year. That’s crazy talk!

But today I feel terrific, so I figured I’d try and get this train back on the track.

Before I go any further, can we discuss my exhausted husband?  Poor Trey is carrying the weight of the world on his handsome shoulders.  Not only is he tasked with the responsibility of taking care of me, and taking care of the kids, and working — but he’s promised all of YOU to blog daily and when he doesn’t, people get worried. 

BUT DO NOT FEAR! DO NOT FRET! And I encourage you not to send panicked emails to him. If he doesn’t blog, it’s just because the hour, or the day, or the week, has gotten away from him. Perhaps I needed more love that day. Or the kids had no rides. Or he was putting out fires at work. So don’t panic, know that at some point during the month, you’ll hear about our progress. And that more than anything - we both feel your love and are incredibly grateful for it.

This week in the land of Leukemia, things got more real than ever. 

The bone marrow cooridinator had the two of us into her office to sign all the necessary paperwork that must be discussed before a bone marrow transplant... and it’s mind-boggling.  

Here’s my quick, sarcastic recap of what they said:  

"Okay, we're just gonna give you a list of all the ways you probably won’t, but could die during a bone marrow transplant. Here are all the terrible things that probably won’t, but might happen to you, during a bone marrow transplant.  And just when you think that’s all you need to know, let us remind you that you’ll be in the hospital at least another 30 days, followed by another month of full time care. You’ll probably end up returning a couple of times with a fever. You’ll lose a bunch of weight. Oh, and you’ll probably get horrible mouth sores, followed by 6 months where you’ll be carrying around a bag of meds that you must have with you 24/7.  Otherwise - we’re very excited to have found a possible match and are waiting to hear back from the donor.  Fingers crossed! Congrats!"

So Trey and I drove home in silence, quietly attempting to digest all that information. On the one hand, we are beyond thrilled there is a possible donor (even though the donor has yet to fully agree to participate), but on the other hand… it’s an enormous amount of life or death stuff to think about. 

And while we process all that information, my treatments continue. I will have more intensive chemo, followed by full body radiation — and all the while — I am talking to experts and researching other possible methods of putting me into remission... because this is a constantly changing disease and there are several different protocols available all over the country. 

That about covers it for now. We love you and thank you again for your words of wisdom, prayers, emotional support, positivity, emails, texts, cards and food.  Did I mention food? They keep us going. Truly. 

XOXO

Nancy